She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
