you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize