No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
