Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
