see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
