I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
