you guys were way drunker than both of me
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think I sprained my soul last night
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
