Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
