He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
