So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
