I heard we made out
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
