butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
