Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
