In the future we'll all be gay
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
