dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
