It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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