I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
