Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
is it fun? or sober?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
