i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
