When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I need moral support for this bender
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
