Can Purell be used as lube?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
