I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
