So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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