Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
