i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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