Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
