so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
please don't ironically join a cult
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