just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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