I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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