The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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