that's an acceptable place to lick
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
