reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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