You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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