someone threw a dead crab at me
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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