Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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