Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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