You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
