yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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