You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
