Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
