I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
