I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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