it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
