Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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