I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
