I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
