so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize