we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
bring money and cleavage
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
