Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
