you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
