people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
