fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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