New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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