I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
