My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My hand turned me down
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
