I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
