Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize