then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
