I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
