you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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