P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I forget how to act sober
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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