Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
