I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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