My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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